In this article, I will be discussing the difference between dreams and reality, the change in our awareness as we shift between these two opposing states and why I believe it's healthy to encourage both.
I always considered myself a bit of a daydreamer when I was growing up. Looking back on my childhood, I was often the quiet one who kept herself to herself. Most people thought this was because I was shy and didn't know how to socialise, but it wasn't. It was simply because I was always in my own little world.
Between the ages of 6 and 16, I struggled with a lot of things. Things which I found hard to come to terms with in my life and even harder to try and put into words. My family life was stressful and school was even more so. I therefore sought refuge in magical, mysterious worlds, where I felt safe and no one would be able to hurt me. You could say that my imagination was a form of escapism, which helped me get through some pretty dark times.
Reflecting on this behaviour now and acknowledging how much it helped me, I struggle to understand why so many parents reprove their children when their imagination becomes, in the parent's unspirited eyes, too "far fetched". It's the tone of admonishment that I hear in the parents voice (often at a checkout in the local supermarket), that upsets me. I'll hear something along the lines of "George, stop being SO silly, of course there isn't a dinosaur down the vegetable aisle". Followed by the most sincere statement you will ever hear "but he was mummy, I saw himmm!"
And I'll be standing behind them in the queue, with my frozen dinosaur shape potato waffles that I picked for dinner later that night thinking to myself, 'well to be honest there could be? What happens if there was a dinosaur down the vegetable aisle and all of a sudden it was to poke its head out and cause all hell to break loose? Imagine the smug look on Georges face then!'
The point I'm trying to make is, we should be encouraging children to be as imaginative as possible, now more than ever. Todays world is hard and kids have to grow up fast, but they should never have to grow up too soon. A child's innocence is vital to his/her youth. So just because we, as adults, are battered and bruised by the traumas of real life, it doesn't mean that we should steal the spirit of innocence from younger generations. If anything, not only should we be actively encouraging children's imaginations, but we should also be encouraging our own.
It would make sense to assume that those who grew up with a creative mindset, who found reading, daydreaming and writing enjoyable and were actively encouraged to participate in these activities, are more likely to continue to pursue them in later life, as adults. Whereas individuals that may not of engaged in these kinds of activities, nor were encouraged to pursue such things at a younger age, are less likely to be interested now - making them more likely to become realists.
The definition of a realist, according to google, is
"a person who accepts a situation as it is, and is prepared to deal with it accordingly"
Although I considered myself to be a daydreamer when I was younger, there are parts of me that have grown wise and extremely tough to life over the years, and sadly the creative flame that once burned bright within me, has reduced to that of a dim flicker. But it is still there, because I am still able to write articles like this, now.
Analysing myself now, I would say that I am more 50/50 when it comes to my awareness of reality, and my ability to daydream. As a realist, I am very much present in life and extremely aware my surroundings and emotions on a daily basis. I try to accept what I can't control and find reasonable and realistic solutions to the things that I can. But to do that every day is draining. As someone who is also a 50% dreamer, sometimes it's just nice to have a moment inside your own head where you can escape. A moment only you are allowed to see and feel. Perhaps it's a place or a point in time that is so far removed from the situation that you find yourself in, in the present, that it seems utterly ridiculous. But in that moment you need it, and you welcome it. I personally think that now more than ever, as adults, we need to find within us the ability to escape real life more often. Especially after 2020.
2020, or as I prefer to call it, "the year that shall not be named" has left many of us feeling trapped in what can only be described as a living nightmare. So many people, including myself, spent the best part of 8 months simply trying to maintain some level of sanity by clinging on to any distraction that we could find, that would help take our minds off of the harsh reality that we faced - lockdown.
It was during one of these months that I questioned myself, my mental state and my approach to the new (unfortunately real) world which I found myself in. Some days I woke up as a realist. I would cry and bang my head against the wall and sometimes I'd scream into pillows and not move from bed, because all I could see was the situation for what it was. A total MESS with no end in sight.
On other days I woke up and found myself in an almost dreamlike state of believing that things would get better. That I would be able to socialise and go on holiday again, I'd have a career again and an income. I found myself starting to daydream about the places I would travel to, the things I would do, the people I would see, the conversations that I'd have, and it would be beautiful. Until I was brought crashing back down to reality again by a news alert, or the sound of weekly clapping coming from outside in the street.
The last year has made me realise that it is possible to be both a realist and a daydreamer. It's ok for someone to feel the need to escape reality by dreaming, and it's equally ok for someone to deal with their troubles by confronting them. A realist will sometimes struggle to understand a daydreamer, and a daydreamer will often struggle to understand a realist because they live in two different worlds. But it's ok for those worlds to collide sometimes. I would even go as far as to say that it can bring a healthy balance to your life.
So whether you are someone that lives life based on the probabilities and chances of something happening, or you are someone who prefers to live in a world where dinosaurs do indeed live down a TESCO's vegetable aisle, consider this:
Dreams can indeed seem far fetched and unrealistic, and having wild ambition during the bleakest of times can seem like aiming a ball at a seemingly invisible goal. But the higher your ambition, the higher your chance of success. And the more dreams you have, the greater the probability of one coming true.
Until next time,
L. E. Keough
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